"Modern Love" What is Love actually 'bout?

 Well, looking at the title I'm guessing that you're guessing that I've watched the series Modern Love on Amazon Prime? 

Correct. I just did. Kinda binged on it, to be honest.

My feelings for this show right now are so fresh like a hot cuppa joe with freshly ground beans!!


So, What exactly is love?

Is it just reducing to physical intimacy and sex?

Is it just reducing to a relationship with a tag?

Or is it more and Love too has a grey area, wherein it gets complicated and untangled and uncomplicated and twist over like the red string of fate?

Love is, after all, a beautiful natural emotion...

But what is it? What are the colours and shades and types of love?


 >> Lookout this space for frequent updates...

OUCH. My exsistence hurts!

 Like literally, every part of my body is paining, aching, hurting, and it's freakin' irritating because of the plausibility that I am in this state because of a dance workshop! It couldn't be... can it?

The 23rd was an eventful Sunday that started with a calm morning. I guess the music and the coffee was the only time I got to behave and exist as a normal sane human because after 10.30 I and Di started getting ready to go to our neighbours' place for a Satyanarayana Puja (a Hindu ritual where Lord Narayan is worshipped with flowers and chants after having heard 5 or 7 stories about the lord.) I and Di had received lunch from their place and so lunch was sorted (We had to prep food for that day but found an escape route).

After finishing my lunch, I and Di left to Jayanagar, to Dynamix Studios (Visit their webpage for more details at https://dynamixstudiosblr.business.site/ ) for a dance workshop. 

Now, here's how it spiralled down to an embarrassing day.

Firstly, I told Di, not to rush it and it would be alright to be a Lil late - I reached the studios at 3.15 for a 4.30 workshop just because I forgot what time it was :( 

Secondly, I danced my boredom through the time that I had because:

  • A "Why the heck not?" and 
  • B "Maybe this would let me be a Lil more fluid during the workshop!" and to end with 
  • C - "Where's some good music? ah, here we go.... ooohhh. ho... cannot stop my feet! Well then, let's just have fun"

I had danced for like 40 minutes straight from 3.30 to 4.10 and then decided to stop awhile; wanted to rest a while before the workshop started

I really needed some sugar because I literally felt my energy dropping low. I started thinking and reasoning to myself, "It's part studio and part office... they'd have a pantry right ...? and pantry would have a coffee maker or something... so there would be a good chance,,, They'd have sugar?"

So with all the confidence and kindness, I requested Shubham sir, the Chief Sound Engineer for some sugar from the pantry. Apparently, there was none left and THE FUCKENING TO A GOOD DAY STARTS!

The entire team of Dynamix studios was worried about it and my low energy levels showcased itself on a spotlight. Huh. (Soo sweet from their end :) and so embarrassing from my end :*( uh)

Abhinandhan sir, who is not only the owner and founder of Dynamix Studios but also my Guitar sir from the same apartment; (who not to mention was with his parents) took care of the entire situation and made sure I got my sugar supply. Prabha aunty, Abhi's' ma, loaned me her Strepsil for a bright short moment. I also asked for a water break from Sharat sir, the choreographer; who permitted me to have my break with a smile.

Prabha aunty had suggested I take some time off from the dance, and I obediently agreed as I thought that was probably the best thing to do at the moment, but even then I couldn't stop my body moving to the beats of the song wanting to practice the entire choreography that was done so far/ I went back the second minute I missed being into the workshop and tried giving it my all - and to be honest I'd rate myself ad 6.5/10, although everyone was almost at 9 by the end of it.

Speaking of the end, 5 minutes later I come back from my 'break' the workshop got over and just as Sharat sir started speaking of DS, Prabha aunty handed me a teaspoon of Glucon-D. I washed the spoon and gave it back as instructed to me.

SHE IS THE SWEETEST, EVER! And thanks to Abhi too in making sure I got it. Thank you, =D

(Did I mention that I got my Glucon-d after the workshop ended when I asked for it even before it started?

The workshop ended with a tour of the studio (which I had done when no one was in the studio) given by Abhi; well, the explanation helps - now I get to not only admire but also know things about the place and the courses they offer (check the link pasted above!!)

Geez, I don't know what to feel about the dance workshop anymore...

I was the worst dancer there, obviously. No doubts there... a staff of DS took a video, for Instagram I suppose and I was so sure it for the 3 seconds I saw it, but the worst was when at every time I used to dance, I used to mess up the choreography after the first half and couldn't get it right or maintain my balance... :(

It was fun but I made it embarrassing? I guess, also not to forget I have had an entire Monday with body pain and it's shit - the pain was away for a short time after a bath in hot water but came back worse than morning and I am afraid to hit the bed 'coz my back already hurts!! :(I really don't know if I feel positive about making myself a clown or embarrassing myself in the workshop; on one end of my thoughts, I am kinda glad about the reasoning that ain't gonna meet anyone shortly (except for the Rao family - shucks. How do I face them? Esp considering that I have Guitar class in another 16 hours... Dunno. But I am gonna give them all my gratitude and thanks for taking care of me) and another part of me is happy to have learnt something new and explored a genre in dance I otherwise would never have pushed myself into - BollyHop - a fusion of Bollywood and Hip-Hop.

But no matter how it turned out, I'm just glad that I don't regret it a little bit, in fact, I just have a lot of gratitude. I have got a taste of DS, the team, Bolly-Hop and learnt subtly about the Studio and what Abhi does for a living - Making Music and the engineering behind it!

After the tour, I got back to my bag at 17.45 to have some water and call Di, well, she was calling me then  - I spoke to her and headed straight to meet her directly at 'The Secret Spot' where she had her pizza and I had the rest of it. I also ordered coffee and a brownie for myself. We left the place by 7 and searched for her saree blouse, having not found anything for her but shopped like a holic for myself; we decided to go home and call Pati so she wouldn't be tensed.

The pizza and her set of starters kept her full. My pizza slices, coffee and brownie had kept me full, we didn't have dinner after entering home. I couldn't sleep at night till 2 btw - I spoke to Zin Sanjana Sharma, a lady who was at the workshop on Friday and had uploaded her dance video tagging Dynamix Studios on Instagram. (You can follow them on Instagram at @dynamixstudiosblr ). I later finished the 3rd season of MHA / BNHA and went to sleep

Woke up with the pain, and it persists. My entire body and my existence are slowly killing me! Ugh!!! 

It's like my entire body wants to be a Timelady, and take in a bullet shot to finish the cherry on the cake and start my regeneration! Alas, I am not my liver to regenerate and stuff.

Ah well, until another crazy ride

Take care

R

00.53

26.01.2021

Hakuna Matata

Heyyo folks! Hakuna Matata!!

Those who were born in the 19080s and 1990s would know this because of Disney and why not!

 Now, if you don't know the lion king, you need to rush in and watch as soon as... NOW!!! Come back to the post later, it ain't going anywhere ;) (Contains spoilers)

And to those who know the movie and love the song and sang it in the theatres like I did when it was released in 2019... here's a question for y'all.

What does "Hakuna Matata" actually imply? What does it mean? What does it mean to you?

When can we implement "Hakuna Matata"?

If you've read my previous posts, you'd know I'm in a confusing place at life right now and as much as I'd like to say "Hakuna Matata" to all my problems but I know that I am not in a place where I can recite the phrase and get away with it.

Please answer my question stated above in the comments as I try to decipher the meaning myself and explain myself.



Hakuna Matata, is a phrase. It's a problem-free philosophy. But what does it actually imply? If we look at the video song closely Timon spoke of Pumbaa's life when Pumbaa faced a down-hill and yet was strong enough to face and celebrate life in all its colours and emotions. 

Simba too met Timon and Pumbaa at a similar situation; he was innocent and juvenile and was mentally lost with no father to guide him. But he had friends, and he lived a fine life, a problem-free life, a life that ran by the phrase "Hakuna Matata" which literally when translated to Swahili means "There are no problems here" (1) (2)

To me, it comes off as saying, "Hakuna Matata", worry about those which you can do something about; if you cannot do something about it, don't worry about it; and thus, 'there are no worries here'

If you follow the first link, the page suggests how beautifully adult Simba takes care of his Pride and The Pride lands after his fathers demise without stressing out too much. That's kinda accurate too.

But getting to the prime question of the blog, 'When do we implement it?'

Well, you can implement it everywhere? and every time/?

even when the shit gets serious, learn to deal with it with no stress (This line made sense when I sang it in my head, I swear!!)

But tuning in the realist and the pessimist in me, we'd know we cannot Hakuna Matata our life through... this ain't the savannah and we ain't animals

We, humans, have made a social construct for ourselves, a hierarchy, monopoly, business, politics, and systems to govern everything. Systems that would monitor every place you go, every transaction you make and everyone you connect with, offline or online.

Cameras everywhere to spot you in the streets

Eyes looking at you, and you are unaware of it

as if Father Christmas looks upon his children to make another naughty or nice list for another Christmas; well, at least the kiddos get a present, what do we the stuttering youth receive in return?

Money, instead of peace

Colleagues, instead of friends

Houses instead of homes,

'coz that's all the society can provide readily into your hand. 

We got to make friends outta strangers and homes outta houses.

We got to find our peace amidst the confusion of our minds and the chaos of our society

So, when do we implement "Hakuna Matata"? Well, that's a question you've got to answer for yourself.

As for my opinion, I believe, with a calm mind and an open heart, no matter what life throws at you, you can HAKUNA MATATA your way out of the chaos and confusion.

I guess it also means that sometimes you got to go with the flow, the natural flow the universe takes you on, a journey that has already been planned for you; wherein all you need to do is walk it. It may seem like it's not the road you want to tread because, at the short-sighted view, we don't get to see ourselves being where we are supposed to be. We believe, that this rough patch may be wrong for us, like how Simba thinks twice before eating the glub for the first time, and then, we do what our ancestors have done - Adapt to the situation 'coz adapting brings a superpower in us. We become a better version of ourselves ever so slightly.

But Simba's first thought, after the slurp was...? "Slimy, yet satisfying"

He repeats what Pumbaa had told him, as a statement of realization, that there are other ways to survive too, adaption for a short term might help ya in the long run, so why the heck not?

So, let's let go of expectations we keep of others and of ourselves and be free of heavy emotions. When you cannot do something about a situation, 

Hakuna Matata the way out of life - Go with the flow of life

You just got to know what you want, and then work for it without causing maximum damage to the social constructs that the human 'civilization' has built to sustain the corrupt and greedy, else you'd never find peace but yourself behind the bars maybe...

Also, remember to be kind to yourself while fighting an inner battle, there are no worries if you don't let them get to you.


Love ya reader

R

04.01.2021

14.56

Feels on the evening of 02.01.2021

 Why on earth does my life a hella amount of instability and uncertainty?

Is this because of the Corona pandemic or is it my age of being 23 that there is so much shit that spews in my life; keeping my mind wavering to decide what is good for me and what my passion/dream is? and what on earth I'd like to make my living off?

On some days, amma says, "Pack to Gangaikondan, le's settle there and we'll see a new road from there" and on some days, it's "Search for a job here only na... we can stay together as a family and you don't have to leave everything you have here"

'Everything that I have here'

What do I have here? 

My sister, with me.

My online classes/ tuition classes

The guitar class that I joined after 6 months of work - by my own salary. I take pride in it and is a big thing for me, if not for you.

I and my sister have been apart a lot of times, separating one more time is going to be painstakingly difficult but I guess I can manage with a few video calls now and then...

My classes will be online even if I  go to Gangaikondan and so will the tuitions...

My guitar class? Well, after crying about it for 2 nights and asking sir on the 31st, he said he'd take online for me... I am eternally grateful for it.

I really hate uncertainties yo!

Scares the crap outta me sometimes!!

To add to this shit ride, Amma, who now lives in Sharjah because of her Patidev wants me and Akka to move back and find a job. She'll never stop being Shanthi - The opportunistic optimist - don't get me wrong... she is a warrior and a lover and yet finds optimism in every opportunity she gets.

Di would find a job and easy and yet I don't know why she does not want to go back. Whereas for me, I think I'll just quit job searching or working and focus this year on IELTS and guitar, along with teaching and tutoring kids online/offline. Let's focus on the PhD now, shall we? And maybe some content writing... I have actually been thinking about it but never applied for anything seriously... maybe yes? maybe no? maybe yes, but later? Let's see...


Yours forever confused

R

Hakuna Matata

Heyyo folks! Hakuna Matata!! Those who were born in the 19080s and 1990s would know this because of Disney and why not!  Now, if you don...