shorts #2

My angels of the heart have been hurt far too long to be joyous anymore and are envious of how my devils celebrate gloom and despair. In envy and anger, my poor sad angels have tormented my devils and demons. My angels have mercilessly showered their sadness and anger and anguish and loneliness onto my demons.

It's funny. To think my dear demons would enjoy some good painful torture, they couldn't handle the pleasure of pain gifted by the white heavenly beings.

And what's ironic is the fact that my angels are having more fun tormenting my demons and devils ruthlessly while my demons are scared for life and soul that they've loaned from their scarce courage that was still hidden somewhere.

RK

15 December 2022

16.12 IST

UPDATE #2

 Heyyo Everybody! It's been quiet for some time, I know, Work has been keeping me busy since August and I honestly missed writing here. So, today, I've got 2 posts: one is this, an update. The other is a slice of my heart and love life mixed with cranky crazy Cancerian emotions.

This one is to tell you that I HAVE A PODCAST! I'm not sure if I've already told you this... (If I did, could you lemme know which blog post it was?) but I have a strong feeling that I haven't.

Anyhoo, regardless of memory, I tell this to you now as I take my sick leave break from work and channel my creative energy towards you guys. I have a podcast. It's called Random Talks Of A Nobody. RTOAN for short.

It's available on Spotify and Anchor for those who'd like to give it a try.

I made this as an alternate form of expression, apart from blogging during COVID-19. So, the posts belonging to 2021 are S1. S2 is one single post of 2022. Currently, we are at S3 where I'm doing a December Diary series.

The December Diary series is a series of 31 podcast episodes. This is to wind up 2022 in the best way I can while inculcating a habit of podcasting, 

It's kinda funny, I actually have listeners there! Who would've thought! At the time of writing this post, I apparently have a listener who played both the episodes from Day 1 and Day 2. I wonder if they finished the episode... hehe... everything I say is more than 10 minutes... 

The bonus to you guys is that you get to hear my voice and thoughts, my mumbles and fumbles and tone and shrieks! LOL. 😂

Go check it out now! Besides, the content is never the same... ;)

Your blogger cum podcast host,

R

03 December 2022

09.51 IST

Amnesia calling

 Damn! Another post with the word Amnesia in it! Lol.

Well, the last blog was about how a song reminded me of a friend and all the bitter-sweet memories. And this one, this is about a thought I had. A random, crazy thought - how it would be if I had amnesia.

Many a time, we hear or read stories, watch movies and encounter people with amnesia or a partner of a person with amnesia. 

Ever wondered what it would be like, to live with Amnesia? To be lost. To be confused and scared and directionless or helpless all the time?

Every 3rd moment we live, we forget the past and forget ourselves. That's kinda scary if you ask me.

I'd wake up and not know where I am or who I am or what I am supposed to do. A reminder to keep me in check - maybe a book of rules and regulations to follow, a written routine that I can refer to and follow.

An album of people in my life - relations and memories we've had. A playlist of my favorite songs to remind me the crazy, jolly, mellow me.

Well, what would you do if you had amnesia? Lemme know in the comments!

P.S. Just imagine if we had a billion dollars - we'd live each day as our first and last! LOL. If only!

Signing off now,
Until later,

R
09.42 IST
22 Aug 2022

Kadhal Aasai

This song by Yuvan S Raja is a fantastic piece about love.
It talks of how a new love is, like when you discover love at the most random time, unplanned.

It feels like a kid's joy, it feels fresh and blissful.

You'd do all those cartoony things a cliché romantic would... singing songs in your bathroom, dressing up nice, trying to steal glances, a smile escaping your lips when you see them.

And you know what, I want to feel all this too. Properly.

My last relationship, well, not exactly a "relationship" we were in a Courtship, to be honest.

And I jumped to it thinking, "Finally, Love has knocked on my door. It's my turn!" Ha. Jokes on me.

It managed to scar me more profound than I had feelings for the human.

As I listen to the song today, I seek redemption from my naivety. Maybe Love can forgive me eventually, for I have sinned to enter a relationship with prejudice.

Already having an idea of love only restricts one from experiencing the most genuine essence and beauty it has to offer.

The 400 Word Intro to Rajeshwari.

 Hey there! I'm Rajeshwari Kannan.

A dreamer, a lover, a writer and a student of life!

As a Biotechnologist, I have always been curious about the science of things and life. So my love to learn new things (especially Biology)  is always never-ending.

I love visiting scientific exhibitions, talks, workshops, and conferences, in an unceasing quest for knowledge. Fret not, I do enjoy a park or a beach on a Sunday afternoon, to spend time with family... like all other wonderful humans with a social life

I have a keen eye for details as an observer and I adore the universe for all her might and beauty. I'm an ambivert who feels a lot and has realized the key to expressing myself is through Writing.

I found writing to be a powerful escape - an escape from reality, the chaos, and the mundane routine.

It lets me express myself and I know I can write pages on and on with no interruption when the words pour out of me and my pen bleeds my thoughts avoiding the void of Pitch Black.

Thanks to this amazing skill, I get to communicate with folks around me without having the embarrassing moment of fumbling or being lost for words.

As much as I call myself a writer, I love a captivating story and am fascinated by many, stories around me but I always look forward to stories inside someone's soul. I strongly believe there is a story in every person we've met, apart from believing in Jack frost and Toothfaries of course!

I know I am good at academic content, blogging, and writing SEO content. But again, if the job has got anything to do with writing - my mind bursts with ideas, my pen clicking anxiously with a tinge of joy and I'll just be in a state of being - cumulating of all the feelings I feel.

Coffee and music help me write, they calm me down as I collect my thoughts when I'm at a task. I try to keep my writing in a conversational tone to speak to the reader, hoping it reaches them. Sometimes it's a fail, well, give me some time, if we're ever in an era with Web9.32 I can probably send my voice to you too! Until then, I shall try to write what I have in my mind.

That's 400 words,
Cheers to coffee and everything beyond!

RK

17.23

30/06/2022

An honest confession

 On the night of 16th June, a Thursday, I lie beside my Ma as we try to slumber ourselves and rest for the day.

A song plays from my Spotify through the bluetooth speakers; a song from the 2010s, giving me a chance to reminisce about the youthful days spent as a child in Bangalore.

I don't know how or why, but I could only think of Bengaluru then. I didn't think of school or friends or family or all the memories of my experiences. Just Bengaluru.

Upon closing my eyes, I could see and feel Bengaluru in all her beauty and glory, the cool wind, the bad roads and traffic and the morning mist I'd wake up to. The morning chills that make my coffee go cold, the Namma Metro I'm always so proud of. The filter kapi shop at every nook and corner in the morning with people who wake up with the city. The aroma of caffeine and petrichor in the Bengaluru air.

I cried as silently as I can, clenching onto my pillow as if I'm trying to not let go of it. I cried in acceptance that I miss Bengaluru, my city, my birthplace and I miss that I cannot come back to it for a very long time.

Alas, I should've been careful about what I wished for. I always had a memory of wishing to be at a new place on my 25th Birthday but didn't know at what cost.

So here are 2 lessons I take away,
1. Everything comes at a price, even a wish to start a new life in a different city.
2. I know I miss Bengaluru more than I've missed my friends

I write this with a heavy heart and a wanting for my Bengaluru soil. The aroma of it. The texture of it. The Earthen Essence of Bengaluru.

To be able to see my Namma Bengaluru again, to be able to breathe in the Bengaluru air, to be able to have another filter kapi and Benne Mysore Masala Dose... 
To be Alive, in Namma Bengaluru...

Have you ever cried for a place? Have you longed to be there again? What's your birthplace? Would you cry if you migrate away from it?

Let me know. We're all human after all...

Until later,
Your blogger,
R

desire versus destiny

Heyyooooooooo

It's me, Radha! I'm alive and back! 

And this time I have a news to share.

I got a job! Yay! Whooohooooo

It's a content writing gig in Gujrat, all the way from Bengaluru..!

Feeling a little funny actually.

RK

21.51 IST

31.05.2022

#Shorts: 1 - The Girl by The Window

At 24, Akriti is a mess in all ways possible and impossible. Every day she'd search for her ikigai, her reason to wake up and live another mad day. The only thing that gets her through all the bad days is an excellent cuppa coffee accompanied by some music.

She gazes at her window, looking through the vines that grow up on her window grill and wonders what if - 

What if she runs away? What if she dies? What if she gets her dream job? What if she cracks the national exam? What if she gives up everything? What if she backpacks to the forests?

All these mad thoughts visit her at random times, neither with reason nor with an answer; while responsibilities entrap her wanderer mind and childish heart. Sometimes, she's lucky enough to capture those words in a document or write them down before they begin to weigh on her or before they run away to the pit of forgotten words

Another day, another chance to change her fate, another chance to be who she is destined to be. She's always by the window at 3 pm on Sundays, looking at people as seasons come and go. Always by herself at her window with her thoughts to herself. At times, with a cup of hot chocolate or humming a song to herself.

She'll always be a dreamer of improbable dreams and holds onto hope because she knows if she lets go the void might just engulf her mind and existence.

RK.

30th May 2022

12.49 IST

Rains

So, Avi bhai, my maternal cousin asks on a Insta Story...

"What's it about A cup of tea on a rainy Evening?"

And I replied:

Well, you see, rains have this thing with, Chai, Words, Music, and sometimes a good book

All of them or any one of them at a moment of time can be made more beautiful by mere presence of the monsoon winds & clouds... the petrichor rising in the air as the soil mixes with water kindles ones' soul from within

As they take a deep breath in and renew themselves. A new you, in a second that you breath out.

R

11.10.2021

17.49

Anthology Write-Up

 Yup! It's true!! I participated in an Anthology writing and got selected!!

The topic was SELF LOVE/ MOTIVATION. It was a new topic, I had to explore the subject and before I knew it I was immersed in reading posts and articles on the same. Coincidently, and ironically, I knew that the only one who could help me was myself.

I had to believe that I could write about something I'd left unexplored. I knew the clock was ticking as I was given 7 days to submit my piece for the Anthology. Thoughts about 'how to write' pondered on my mind relentlessly. I had submitted y writing thinking I would not be selected - being much glad to know I was selected, I was perturbed with whether I wanted to publish and let the world know my name. Also, I had to pay an amount and then publish; that put me in a decisive mode on whether I wanted to publish by giving an amount sum.

Well, I took a chance, paid the money and gave in my submission for an Anthology!

Here is a glimpse of my piece for the Anthology:

Anthology Title: A needle on a record  

‘An anthology huh? It’ll be fun, she thought as she applied. ‘I’d explore sides to literature that I wouldn’t have otherwise, thank you universe!’ she thinks to herself as she finishes her application. 

Uncanny, she knew she wouldn't be selected for a tryout, but what if she did? What if she pushed herself into it so much that it was worth publishing?  

Well, if it was, it’d be worth a read for at least 6 people. No? 

3 days later, she gets a message, conveying that she is selected and they have only 18 spots left...  

Marvel of all wonders was not that she was given an opportunity to write and participate in an anthology, but the topic and genre: Non-Fiction and Motivational / Self-Help. 

 Let’s take a moment who the author actually is... She is a crumbled person on the inside as much as she puts up a strong front on the outside. She is so sure that True Love and Work-Life balance are topics of myth and cannot happen in real life, or at least not to her.  

Being unemployed and disturbed for the last 4 months, words and feelings and people and coffee betray her and her loneliness during dark summer nights. Her only company, the Moon. Maybe a Lata Didi song and if luck prevails, a nice cuppa coffee. 

How is someone so helpless in the first place supposed to write about motivation and self-help when she’s got none and is unable to help herself? Sign up for difficult things – like Writing an ANTHOLOGY 

I can vouch for my sleepless nights as I type this document. I haven’t the faintest idea I’m supposed to write. But I would like to take this opportunity to explore a question that’s been on my mind ever since I knew about the topic. 

The brain-boggling question: How does anyone help themselves if they don’t know that they need help in the first place? 

I’m probably speaking about me, if not about you. I’m probably speaking about the topper of the class or the backbencher or the lone wolf of the pack. 

But when someone is used to doing things by themselves and not having any aid although they need it; why is it that they don’t ask? 

Well, what if they did ask and seek aid, alas they were turned down from help being offered to them so many times that they’ve now decided to do things by themselves without hoping or having anyone to depend on one? 

Maybe they don’t like to be told that they’re in the wrong? That’ll probably contradict if they’re a solo perfectionist. They may be solitary at things they do, and they do strive to achieve perfection, yet a true perfectionist knows that the best way to improve is to have feedback and fix the process while enhancing the output. 

SORRY THERE! A BIG PORTION OF THE ANTHOLOGY IS NOT BEING PUBLISHED HERE DUE TO COPYRIGHT TERMS. THE BOOK COMES OUT SOON AND IS TITLED: "The Ladder of The World Class Life". Stay tuned for updates about when it'll release.

Please support the budding writers who are the co-authors of the book.
It's a book on self-help, having said that, help us help you? Do buy the book when it comes out!
Thanks for all the support and love in advance! :)

To end the blog post, a small snippet from my piece:

To all the Rebels, Weirdos, Crazy ones, those who don't "FIT IN" and those who think they're alone out there - you’re perfect the way you are now. Life is full of phases of growth and one doesn’t stop growing till their death! 

So, whether you’re a teenager, a metalhead, a punk rock fan, a goth, or a person in a deep soup of mess, listen up: 

Never Give Up, Never Give In 

Laugh Hard, Run Fast, Be Kind 

Never Eat Pears 

Go beyond, Plus Ultra 

Excellence is a habit that comes with years of practice 

Much Love
R
10 May 2022

14:03

Some realizations and some truths

Life, it sucks when you are an adult.

But having a friend by your side, always helps.

A constant companion and support system, helping each other to reach greater heights in life figuring out as it comes.

We will always need people. But it's important to keep in touch with those same people whom we need. Inclusive of our family.

We need to talk to them, we need to also remind ourselves that - although they are from a different time period.. they too are humans. They too would've faced situations similar to us. They too would've been stuck or confused or scared or stressed by life in all its glory.

People are important - not just as friends and family - they are living stories whose experiences can enrich and nourish you. All we need to do is to hack into the storyteller inside them and know their journey - learn from their experiences and help ourselves.

Help others from not doing what wrong you've done.

Take pride in your novel mistakes. The first mistake is always a lesson

The second mistake is mostly a habit.

Nonetheless, today, after watching the web series Adulting, I realized...

I want to experience the world on my own for a while. Get a job, and experience office life. Connect with people, grow professionally. Get hectic with life and chase all my dreams and goals.

Top things I want to do in 2022, with 9 months left:

1. Get a job, within my industry of Biotechnology mostly.

2. Take License for car and bike

3. Get a vehicle

4. Drive mom around :)

5. Buy her anklets

6. Maybe shift to a new city

7. Live with a roommate

8. Lose some pounds xP

9. Maintain weight for 12 months.

10. Be emotionally stable

"Tera Yaar Hoon Main" Kaun hai yaar mera?

22.24 GST

25.01.2022

दि से बात कि। दि से बात करते वक्त "अगर तुम साथ हो" नामक एक गाना चल रहा या।

दि मुझसे अचछे से बात नही कि।

दुरियॉ जब बङती है, हम अकसर बात करना कम कर देते हैं।

मुझे हाला कि यह बात फसंद नहीं फिर भी सहना पदता हैं। क्या ही करे?

उसके तुरंत ही, अगला गीत आया। उसका नाम था, "तेरा यार हूं मैं"

पर 

Mera kaun be?! Mera kaunsa yaar hai jo yeh kahe. "Tera yaar hoon main"

Mere paas toh aise bandhe rishtey toh hai nhi

Di toh meri janm se phele aayi thi, phir iscool, caulej par toh anek logon se mili who were present as my Bestfriend at different parts and points of my life.

Iske upar toh, main bhi aaya jaaya karthi thi Dubai aur India ke beech. Log toh constantly zindagi mein rakhna ek task ya obligation ban jaata hai, par aisa nhi bhi hona chahiye.

Humme toh bas itna yaad rakhna hai ki log humesha humare saat dene ke liye sajj hai par yeh dosti nibhane ke liye har din baat kare, zaroori nhi.

Aur yeh travel travel ke beech, mere zyada dost bane nhi, dooriyan ke wajah se kuch rishtey toh totne bhi lage. kya hi kare?

People just either disappear disappoint or die. In my life, I disappoint them and they disappear from my life. What's the point!

Koi yaar nhi hai mera.

I don't have a constant in my life and although i odn't want to be okay with it; I have to be.