90 minutes and a win!

I spent 90 minutes, just after my exam
Just awaiting for Boo.

I handed the paper to the invigilator,
Got my stuff, mt bag and buzzed off
From the hall, few treads, a halt.
I keep my things inside and settle
To make a move, made a mental
Calculation, of all the things, I need
To take care of. Yes, all set in.

A thud, goes my heart, it knows
I have left something behind
It knows, i have left her behind
12.05, there's still time..

I move forward, one step at a time
Realization is quicker than my feet
'She'll be out and with me in no time'
I convince myself and walk ahead
To the fish tank, was greeted upon
2 mates of mine, Shree and Sindhu

That's just a minute that's past me.

We converse on things, on how
Wretched the paper was, and oh!
How 'it was set by an external!'
Engulfed the atmosphere, tensed
Expressions in our faces.
Everyone knew how fucked up it was.
Unlucky luck, "a grey day" you may say
And i still won't know if you speak of the

weather in Bengaluru or the situation
we just faced.

We rant on how miserable our days were,
How miserable we all were and will be
For the next few days, exam seasons.. uh!
Studied, day in and day out, the all nighters
We have pulled and the milk packets for
Our accompanying unearthly dark times

Yet We speak of hope with a mild glee
In our eyes, with a consoled heart
And a determined mind.

To focus, study hard, and study smart.

"Its just 12.07, she'd finish at half past noon"
I remind my self,

As I look away from the mosaic floor, a sight of
another friend incoming towards us

"Heyya! Should I ask how the pap-" i ask, Arokiya cuts me in
"NOPE. I am failing. Or maybe a just pass, oh! I hope I pass.. wouldn't be cool to stay with a supple!"
"I am definitely failing, no doubt; and no shame." I quote.

Its 5 minutes past since I finished my paper, its 12.10 on my watch.
In few moments time

My 2 friends Shree and Sindu bid adieu
and the latest one, Arokiya stays.

She breaks to the loo, and I become
care taker of her belongings.

Mahi walks in, Mahi who ? Mahi, I call her Mahi, her name is Mahima. She is the bestest class rep I have had. 

I was near the stair way and she was headed for the same. As she was about to leave, she halts for what seems like a momentary pause and we converse

   "Were you laughing, at me?" She asks with concern to my astonishment.

I look upto her eyes, to reply back

My goodness. Her eyes. So beautiful, so deep.
Have you seen eyes so deep that they could drown oceans in them ? Well, she has those kinda eyes.

I come back to the present and answer back to her. "Uh, nope. I was looking around, with hopelessness and cluelessness to fill in my sheets, and laughed at my fate."

"Oh, i see" the calmness floods the air and her voice vibrates my eardrum.

Her calmness can calm storms.

"Oh, you know, that laugh you let when you are so screwed in an exam hall..!? That one!"

I go on blabbering, resulting in the disturbance of the serene surroundings.

I felt bad for a minuscule second; she acknowledges 

my response with her facial expressions and turns away 

to head home and I wish her good luck on all her upcoming exams.

She carries on, stepping down the stair way to her home.

In the mean while, my friend comes back, I insist her on 

filling up her water bottle and she does so.

We make a move to find a place to break for lunch.

Throughout our way, we met our classmates, we stay put and talk of the paper that has passed us today, the exam conducted for Genetic Engineering, III sem MSc students.

Its probably the worst I have written so far, personally.

We found a broad stairway at the entrance of a block, and as we settle in, she offers me her food and I offer mine; funny, we decline each others. We wanted the food for ourselves.. XP

As we were lunching, we welcomed a classmate of ours from our Bsc batch, they speak a lot meanwhile i consume my lunch in silence.

As she leaves, I wave her a bye and wish her the best for her exams, she wishes me back.

Moments later, we, me and my friend finish up and make a move to the bus stop. I told her about the textbook that was brought,  and we speak of how the classes were in Bsc, i would do anything to relive them..! We exited the campus gate in 30 feet and headed towards the bus stop.

The view outside, sunny, populated and polluted.

Its almost 12.25 now. She would have finished the paper maybe. Maybe not, she would still write another 5 more minutes, I chuckled to myself.

We keep ourselves comfortable with the shade at the stand and take our seats whilst waiting for her bus to arrive.

Someone walks past by, behind the car..  

"Faus!" I call out to Faustina.
Arokiya asks "Fautina? Where?"
Faustina too was wondering, from where the sound came from.
By the time she figured us, and our location I clarified to

Arokiya stating Fautina was behind the car from our view.
Faustina walks up, with eyes shooting up with suprise when she sights the both of us.

"I excuse you of asking how the paper was, its the least I can do!" I clatter and leave a giggle.
Arokiya leaves a shorter giggle, Faustina agrees

" Yes, thank you for sparing me today. The paper was bad!" She smiles as she quotes.

I was astonished. "If your exam paper was bad, how come you still be smiling ?" I thought to myself, and realization struck my mind.

Well, its easy, when you have good, true friends to back you up.. you aren't afraid, you are strong. You can smile, because you aren't defeated. Not yet.

We continue the chatter for a while and Arokiya looks up to the flock of falcons flying above in circles, so close to earth.

"I am scared of birds, and then we have this!" Faustina points at the birds and makes a statement.
"Well, its about time we leave" Arokiya says
"Chalo, lets go.." I add and get up from my seat

"Uh no, No No No! They are so close by, o am scared, we'll go in a while, just wait for some time maybe.." Faustina speaks with fear

"Alright.. guess we can wait a bit" I say and settle down. To my astonishment I find Sree and Sindhu near us. Elsitta approches us

Time passes quickly when we all speak of all things but the bad paper we had faced today.

Everyone is ready to leave.

Its 12.30 now.

'Boo would be out by now, speaking to her friends and heading for lunch' the thought strikes my mind.

I smile slightly at my eccentric heart that is always happy when i hear her name or see her face or whenever I am around her.
I dont know, why and how, but I know this.
I like being around her. She makes me happy; she makes me feel the happiness.

We walk to the route they go on, I go uptill I cross the road, and realize i need to go the other way, so i walk back. I bid farewell to everyone, Arokiya, Sree, Sindu, Elsitta and Faus.

I head back to the lane where our walk begins.
That was the main road lane.
I walk back to the lane that leads to the pu college gate and halt after 10 steps, behind me lies a grill and the division for the main road.
The autorijshaw stand is about 20 feet away to my upper diagonal left from me.

I get my earphones out from my backpack and tune in to the radio.
I waste my time shuffling channels to hear something cool..

I leave a text, regardless to her phone being switched on or off, just because it was past 12.30.

"Near auto stand" and send to Boo

Jahnavi passes by, we speak for about 5 minutes on things, my bad genetic engineering  paper, her immunology paper, and how our bsc was fun filled yet hectic.. all that.. craziness and laughter! Reminiscent fills in the atmosphere

Moments pass by and so we carry on with our lives, we part ways.

Its 12.34, Ruhi calls me. We speak for not more than 2 minutes, she wanted directions to the stats department and I take a seat at the bus stop again

The next half hour, until 13.04 was spent in reading 3 pages of a new book, in silence with music bursting my ears

I was reading an awesome book, or so I thought, for in reality

I was just looking out the sideways for the sight of her visage 

Or a slight sound of her voice, for her.
The search never seems to be over

12 45, she must have been out by now and would be

discussing her paper to her friends, i smile to myself
Time continues to progress, the city is busy even at noons,

things happen around me but obviously I am bound to the

Book and oblivious to the event around my surroundings.

Still in search for her
Still in wait for her.

13.04, its been half an hour, she must have been out by now,

even if she finished her lunch and all..
Why wasn't she here yet ?

I call up her phone, the lady tells me the phone is switched off

and I hang up the call. Desperate I call up Toshika, 

Toshika, I call her Toshi : the cute class rep; 

we have a cool bond. 

She has befriended my Bsc friend and brings much joy when we speak.

Unfortunately, she left early and wasn't aware of their whereabouts.

I call up Shruti, "the awesome one", me thinks she cute.

Also, did i tell you she has F.R.I.E.N.D.S theme song as her caller tune? 

My heart leapt with joy <3

Her smile is a rare kind of beauty; something like a wild flower that blooms on the blue moon night.

 

She reassures me that Boo, is with them. She is with them and safe and they'll see me soon.

Question: how soon is 'soon' ? And how much tine must pass for a "later" to come now?
Such time indefininitive words.

Well, being reassured by her is one of the nicest so far.

I try to concentrate and looked down the book. Did i concentrate ? No, as I said, I tried.
My mind was wavering on the fact Boo would be here any minute.
I managed to proceed after the forward and preface. Right now, it was chapter 1.

Every minute feels like a forever.

Thats when I took out my phone to type in the tweet: 

Sometimes a minute feels like a forever.
Sometimes a forever is lived in a minute.

I look up, a bus stops. People walk in and walk out, the bus moves.

Crowds, i hate them. Its almost 13.15, she'll be out soon. No ?

Did she leave without me ? I hope she doesn't hate me. NO..!

No.. she wouldn't hate me.
I hope not, I think not.

I have waited for her after classes through the semester; 

And I know, albeit she takes the time, its worth it.

I assure myself, she'll be here soon.

Another 25 minutes pass, slowly.
I thought it was an hour, but okay.
I was awake since 2am, and so i was hungry again.

It 13.40, I call up Shruti again, maybe I wanted to know about Boo, or maybe I wanted to speak to her, or mayhe I just wanted to listen to the caller tune; maybe I wanted it all, it was definitely a better alternative to being aline and feeling desolated, and invisible.
     

  Geez, my insecurities are more than infinity maybe !

It on, the call is on. "Hello, Shruti?" I ask
And to my suprise, its Boo who replies, "Yeah, Radha?!"
"Ann?! Uh, where are you all?"
"We are still in, we are walking out, we'll be there out soon, see ya." She says.

She has no idea. I dont either. But i felt like what must have been 

like sparkle in the eyes. I could feel the joy radiate from my heart and reach my eyes..

I tune into spotify and start litening to 'I'll be there for you' by the Rembrandts.
I keep the book back in my backpack, and get up and get ready.

My feet moves to the gate, naturally, i sing the lyrics in an 

inaudible tone and my eyes are on a scan for their faces..

Ah! There they are..! Pooja, Shruti and Ann.

Pooja, god! She. Is.So.Sorted.She probably doesn't know, i look upto her. Griffindor she is. Why would i not look upto her !? Her smile brings assurance that thinhs are fine to me.

Shruti, again with her beautiful smile. Sometimes her eyes shine. Its almost magical to be true.

I walk up to them, 5 feet apart, Ann acknowledges me. I win. I won I won I won!

 Ann is next to me. We wave a Hi to each other.

I take steps, not too hasty and reach them. They break in a silence. We discuss a while and break.

"Bye, be safe, take care!" I wave to Shruti.
"I'm dying Radha!" Shruti replies with sarcasm.
Another reason to adore her.

But that comment makes me wince.
I pray for her safety. I always do.
Everytime I tell them, i pray inside.

Pooja and Ann are ahead of me, they speak of things incomprehensible to my low qualified brain. Cigrette smoke near by, and Pooja comments as Ann winces. "Anns' favorite smell!" Ann and I know its not, she refuses back to her and I say to her in my head, "Thats the last thing Ann likes." I follow them and try to keep my pace.

Its been so long. How long ? No idea. 13.42 my watch says.
Approximately, 90 minutes.

Pooja takes a seat at the bus stop and we make a move to our bus stop.

"You could have left!" She says.

"90 minutes! And worth it." I say.

We talk of things, i flirt, she blushes ( or so I think), she thinks

any guy would fall for me if I ever gave them the cheesy lines I use on Ann.
20 minutes, it used to feel like a long stretch when we started out.

 These days, its so short, it doesn't give me more time with Ann.

As we walk through the stretch, she says,

 "I would be the last person who you should be waiting for, you should have left long time ago!"

"90 minutes and you say this to me, so lets reconsider... what YOU have just said." I say.

We reach the bus stop. We part ways. I get onto the bus and put the radio on.

 Reached to the metro, and started writing this.

90 minutes and a win.

Boo, (her name is Ann, only I get to call her Boo, back off! XP) 

 Hi..  :)

I really look forward to spending time with you and creating memories together <3

Being lost and Designer Death

Heyyo.
Its 03.07.19
15.32 pm.

Im on the metro going back home.
Today was a good day at uni.

And so, I am going to tell you tales of my new adventure.

Today, morning, 8.28am, metro
I downloaded songs on my new phone when I was on my way to campus, I put 1 of the songs on loop, called "Saathiya Mera". It was on loop, and it was a good day.. atleast I thought so untill  thought I took the Vidhan Souda metro exit, this time as I reached.. deboarded, and took the wrong exit.

I went into Cubbon Park apparently, being so lost in the beauty my city, Bengaluru has contained within itself.

I wandered my way around and through it.
It was as I realized that I was late for my H.O.Ds' ABt class (Animal Biotechnology), which, I clearly am very poor at.
No, not the Biotech bit; I'm bad at the Animal bit.
Whatever she taught usually gets into my cranium naturally rather than me having to force it, by taking notes and cramming my brain to study and learn too many things and concepts.

I had to find a way out.
I tried Maps, in vain.
It started to get all sweaty due to the heat and nervousness I carried on myself.
-note though, Cubbon Park is hugh, easy to get lost and has lot of trees so the temperature there was about a degree or two lesser than avg area temperature.

I almost started to break down, I felt like I was left all alone to fend for myself.

I know, everyone is left to fend for themselves, and the only saviour you have is yourself or the only person who can save you, is you.
Which ever you like.
I am aware of.

I somehow managed to get to the main road near the cubbon  park metro station, got an autorikshaw and rushed to class.

The class and maam were _VERY FORGIVING_ they claimed.

They were
One of my classmates told maam I must be marked present although I was late by 10 minutes, when they were asked by my dear H.O.D herself.

Shift to a wonderful ending, after a Wonderful Wednesday Class

I was walking back to the metro station with Ann, yeah, I guess Ive told you about her before also.

Uh, NO, i dont intend on writing a biography about her.. for the following reasons if you want..
1. I am not worthy a writer, to write about anyone.
2. I dont think i am worthy enough to write about her at all.
3. Im still practicing my writinv style and techniques
4. She wouldn't like it.
5. Maybe she would, should I ask her..?
6. I dont think I know her enough to even write about her, the real her
7. I dont want to piss her off or make her sad when she gets to know I'm m doing such things..

So, you'll know already,  through the blogs, about my crazy behaviour and acts..
So, we were was walking, as usual, to the bus stand, and I dont remember what i said, but im sure it was pretty stupid that made her say
"Im gonna kill you..!"
And i was like
"Oh, okay, is it an assassination or just a stupid murder ?"
"What..?"
"Hey, one can wish for a designer death..!" I say..

She said something,  it went above my head, because i had to come to.my senses that i just puf the two words 'designer' and 'death' together..

So after a pause or so, as far as I remember
I look at her and ask her, "Did i just say 'Designer Death' ..?"
"Uh, yeah.." said she.

I'm just at awe with myself with the fact i could even put thise two words together.

And the maddness continues.
Stick around for fun crazy updates XP XD

R.K.

22.

I never liked my last birthday coz I had to celebrate it alone.
But this time, j have my sister to celebrate it with. Also, Seshu Anna came in for the cake cutting on 26.06.19 at about 00.22 hrs IST 

But this year, I have received so much love from so many people,  it's so nice..

So forget the past, and the fact I don't like to cut cakes anymore
Here are the top 22 AMAZING THINGS THAT HAPPENED TO ME ON 26.06.19

1. Happy Birthday to Me..!
2. Ann <3 gave me a gift
3. I got to have pani puri with Ann after class.
4. We started off with our Project work..!
5. Dinner date with Di at Toast kn Terrace
6. Nice classes.
7. Got to use A50 finally.
8. Mansa ke 11 texts. 11.
9. Sharv  and Laasya ke calls.
10. 1 hour with Div on call
11. Big Bang 2. #DoctorWho
12. Sky, Seni, Seniyo, and Kulkarnn ke texts
13. Insta stories.
14. Ma proudly boasting my DOB.
15. Chocolates to all. ALL.
16. NEW SHIRT+ BOWTIE
17. I had horlicks before i left home
18. Just in time for class
19. Got a "happy birthday to you " song in class
20. Ann complimented me on my dress  "You look like a child who'd dress up for their birthday" said she. I just agreed to it. OFC I amdressinv up.. Its my day..!
21. I feel like 12.
22. It's been a good day over all.

Peace out yo.

R.K

27.06.19

00.43hrs

Who Am I?

I can't overthink this anymore for a 'perfect' answer... 

>> Forewarning: I was asked by a senior, who I look up to, on Instagram, "Who are you?"; he had asked me to answer it truly to myself.
Although I did do a 6 page write up on paper via pen, here is another answer I had typed on my phone memo.

I just want to say, and if I may, quotes Williams' lines from Seven Ages,
" .. And one man in his time plays many parts, .."
A person can be many things.
We constantly evolve to become better versions of ourselves and carry pieces of our previous selves just to not forget who we were before, just to remind us what our main goal and purpose of doing a particular act were.
Once we start to do something we love, we must ensure we don't forget the main purpose of why we had stated it in the main place and keep focused and dedicated.

I am many things, and relations, I am many emotions and colours and dreams, with fire and rage to pursue passion yet with calm and cool, keeping a check on my focus and determination, tabs on places where I may mess up to never repeat, and always be aware of my faults, wrongs.

Because it's one life I've got and I want to get it right.

It's not going to be 100% perfect, as planned, maybe better maybe not...
But that's okay, as long as I have been able to give in MY 100% through my heart-mind blood sweat tears and soul.

I have a journey to live because if I don't, no one else can.

R
28.01.2019
03.47

Edit: 26.12.2021