Stop, please. Stay.

Stay. I want them to stay. If even its for a little while longer, just a moment longer maybe, but I want them to stay. I do want them to stay forever in my life but everyone comes and everyone goes.

I guess its because everyone has a time to make an entry into our lives and the time comes for them to leave, they must do so.

It breaks me, most of the times.

Today, my sister woke up before me and made sure I get ready for office. She wanted me to leave a little later because I used to leave 15 minutes prior to my actual departure time, and I did leave today 15 minutes later than my usual time giving me the exact amount of time needed for mg travel to my new office.

I am seated on my bus, on my way to work as I type this in my word doc I have on my phone and remembered that moment in time. How funny it was that my sister wanted me to leave late and apparently things happened such that I did leave a little later than when I was supposed to.

When I was a child (like child kinda child, not adult-child; i was literally 10 years old or something) I used to sit on the floor with my crossed legs capturing my Dads’ legs telling him to not go to office. I was a child then, but somewhere I was afraid too I think. People whom I love, leave. Always.

And it hurts, and I want that to stop, but it ain’t gonna stop soon.

I just want them to stay, even if its for a little while longer.. I do want them to stay. If I could I’d probably hide them away from the mean world that is out there to get them.

I guess I am being a little selfish huh? Or maybe if you look at it from my lens you’d just understand that I am looking for ways to not be alone again to not be left out again, to be included in fun activities normal people do and pretend that I love staying at home while the wanderlusty version of me wants to dress up for dates or gear up for a hike or try a new restaurant. 

I have become much a Homebody whilst no one knows how much I yearn to be around with people, doing fun things, getting to know each other and their thoughts and their perspectives on things that matter like Life, After Life, Space, Evolution, Advancements in tech and so on and so forth.

Maybe I just wanna get rid of this lonely feeling I feel once in a while.

Musings from Nature #1

The winter cold mornings wake her up

With a cold whiff of breeze that grazes her cheek

And so he wakes up to sight her

In all her glory, her morning bed head, he laughs at

A giggle owning to the marvelous wonder that she is

Maybe the secrets to the universe are held in her coffee brown eyes, oh look, she rubs them with her tiny human hands...

Her hair falls at her back, wavy yet messy... the universe inspired to make waterfalls that are smooth yet turbulent

Her pot of milk boils, coffee is being made and she wakes up with a new life from the first sip of her joe

The sun tries to find her in places where shadows lie.

She hides away from the light, hiding and seeking the Roshini he's giving.

Oh! It's time for her to go out now... maybe he can find her then?

He seeks her amidst the scintilating pores of leaves that are natures pin hole camera and wonders... is she wearing black to take in all of me?

Well, then why does she cover her face with a Bandini print stole?

Stupid stole, cannot see her face! But I can still see her eyes. Ah, those coffee brown eyes... look at that, the audacity to cover them beautiful ambers with spectacles.

Alas, its not just me but Dharthi, Bhoomi, Akash and Vanam dont get to see her occulus. Her windows to her soul.

She walks in a pace to her bus stand... and lo, she took her ticket, she boards her bus, talks to her Ma and.. and! Hey!! She saw mee! Im elated beyond bounds.

She boards her bus and looks out for me, am I... am I shy? I do want to hide behind the clouds... she seeks me in ecstasy to drive her spirits. I admire her soul.

****************** :) *******************

Hi there. I love you, here's a ray of sunshine for you. Go live your day beautiful!

Love,

R

19th Jan 9.19 am

25th Mar 11.55 am

2023