I amount to something!

 or that's what I told myself when I heard a part of me telling, nay, almost convincing me that I amount to nothing!

 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

'Twas 10 am on this bright beautiful day of 11th december 2025... and all I could remember was:

1. Oh, I need to visit TWC for the month and treat myself - the friday treat calls me.

2. Oh, I need to get my salary though

3. this time, it won't be much... due to the sick leaves and the unpaid sick leave policy which handicaps me financially... plus, need to pay for health insurance

4. need to get health insurance for Kanna also

5. need Kanna to write every Sunday 2 pm - 5 pm... I spoke to him, he said he'd speak to his parents about the writing part-time thing.

6. maybe financial consulting? He did say he could do it...

7. How about a LinkedIn Post? I could post about it often... or at least once in 3 months?

well, what if he gets a client? he'll need a business card!

 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

And so, opened Canva, made a business card for my dear hubby who'd be a financial consultant soon.

or so I hope.

and I did tell him in my head - you belong in the higher table, doing great things - you aren't like me - a lady with a Masters degree, being a part time tutor who's closing up with fear and out of respect for her in-laws... go on, go out there,  claim the world that's yours.

I amount to nothing, but you can do so much... go be a king, you amount to something more than me... Go Kanna... be awesome!

[Anyway, I just want him to be freely doing what he wants to do and what he loves to do!]

 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

it's 10.37 now as I type this...

I just texted him... "making you happy, makes me happy" and there was a voice inside, screaming - 'LIAR! you don't do things that can make you happy because you're too afraid of being your true self.'

seeing me bloom makes you happy? really? that shizze?

I can barely feel like myself when your parents are around and you don't get it... so get this - I'm going to act as per everyone's needs and I'll pass when my time comes - maybe on someone's 11th birthday.

 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

I need to go, Ishan's class in 5.

HR
10.41
11 / Dec / 2025

Hakuna Matata

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